Well, today much to my dismay I woke up to the news that Britain has decided to leave the EU. In my opinion this is a very bad decision, and I truly hope that people casting their votes did so for the right reasons, and not as a protest vote, a racist vote or because they disliked any particular politician. I have been shocked by the level of vitriol on the internet aimed at those who voted to leave - everyone is entitled to their opinion, and whilst I wholeheartedly disagree with the outcome, I totally agree with people's democratic rights. I would dearly love to see a repeat referendum carried out - if the outcome is the same then I would believe that it was the true will of the British people, if it was different then that would demonstrate the number of disenfranchised voters who perhaps voted one way or the other as a protest, or didn't understand the impact of the decision, or didn't think their vote was worth casting. Also, perhaps if we now have a period without the misleading campaigning from both sides of the argument, people could see more clearly what the decision they were making was about. Me included - of course I don't claim to know everything, but I find it really hard to understand how anyone could find a good reason for voting to leave the EU - I know it isn't perfect but surely we are better together overall.
It was sports day at school today - always a slightly strange event in my view - supposedly non-competitive but actually fiercely competitive. You can always spot competitive mum and dad standing anxiously by the finish line... I do think that forcing the kids to do every event is a bit harsh - there were a few children who you could see absolutely hated every second of it, and it is supposed to be a fun thing. M struggles with it - he's not naturally athletic and has reached many of his motor milestones rather late, and in most of the events he was last or second last. I made sure he knew that I was totally proud of him for having a go at everything and didn't care two hoots where he came in each event. I have wondered for several years whether he has a hint of dyspraxia but never done anything about it as I don't think it holds him back a huge amount, and he doesn't really need 'help' as such so I don't think it would benefit him to have it looked at. J fares slightly better - he's more co-ordinated, and very similar to his peers in his motor skills. He did pretty well in the sack race which was always M's nemesis in Key Stage 1.
So, these two things were kind of good in a way for taking my mind off being a heart patient. I'm still feeling a tad deflated that I don't have a plan as such. My friend H thinks that I need a coach to perhaps initially tell me what to do, and help me with some short and long term objective setting.
Health wise - I saw the GP this morning to get the results of my kidney function tests - these are to check that my body is coping ok with all the drugs that they have thrown at me - particularly the ACE inhibitor Ramipril. As my kidneys are coping fine, they are increasing the dose a small amount as they want me on a bigger dose in the end so that I can benefit from the cardioprotective properties of the drug. Hopefully I will feel ok - bp is quite low at the moment and I don't want to feel like I'm going to fall over when I stand up. I also asked about stress management programmes and she didn't appear to have a clue what I was talking about - the cardiac rehab nurse had said to ask my gp about what support could be offered to me to help me learn to cope with stress better. They have a waiting list of 200+ patients needing support for stress and anxiety in our GP practice, so I will be waiting a very long time if I go down that route. Perhaps private is the way forward - or something via Occupational Health at uni. I definitely don't want to have another heart attack and unless I do something to address how I manage stress I won't feel that I've done everything in my power to prevent another one.
I'm still getting loads of people asking me about my heart attack on the school run, it has been so lovely to see how much support there has been for me, and for that I am really more grateful than people will ever know. It has been a tough time for me, and just being asked and wished the best has made a huge difference. If anyone that knows me in real life is reading this, Thank You.
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